What would you do if you were bisexual?

Bisexuals seem to run into strange things all the time, but it just proves that this is a special and interesting group!
As a bisexual woman, getting society to take our identity seriously is a challenge. In a world where women's relationships are constantly sexualized by the media, we face the same reaction almost every day. You must be doing this to get attention, to get men interested, or just sexually interested in women, not romantic.



In the mass media, the relationship between women is overwhelmingly gendered. This is especially true in the film, where the two women play opposite each other in scenes that have neither logic nor reality. The scenes have a voyeuristic sense that we're looking at it from the perspective of a 14-year-old straight man. The success of these two women is not for their own pleasure, but for the joy of the audience.



I'm not saying that every time two women have sex on screen it has to be profound and meaningful, but these scenes tend to be two straight women "experimenting." Every gratuitous, illogical scene is about the curious straight girl, which leads one to believe that bisexuality is an odd quirk, not a legitimate identity. It also means that women can be sexually attracted to other women, which is rarely romantic. How many sex scenes are about two women compared to romantic scenes with two women together? The answer is: metric tons. This imbalance has led to the stigma that "bisexual" women are only interested in deviant sex and not in romance.



At least once, usually straight men tell us that, as bisexual women, our sexuality is "sexy" or "sexy." Every time I hear the news, one strand of hair on my head turns white - it gets very, very, very old. This seemingly innocuous comment totally undermines our identity, which means that others can only make sense of our sexual orientation by reference to themselves. Pandering to the male gaze is the last thing on our list. In fact, it's not on the list at all. Turning our sexuality into something to celebrate because what you like to see takes away the power of celebrating who we are.
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I've been asked about my experiences with women by several ex-boyfriends (sometimes men who just come by). I'm not an audiobook for erotic fiction, it exists to make you sound happy, thank you very much. The idea that "bisexual" women just want attention perpetuates the idea that a woman's love for another woman is something that heterosexual men like. When people ask us degrading questions about our personal lives, they not only violate our privacy but also fuel the fire of the attention myth. We can talk about our encounters as little or as much as we can, but it takes our own terms. This is our life, and we do what we want to do. This is recognition, not attention, that we strive for.



For bisexual women, no one can escape the real threat of heterosexuality. That said, the widespread acceptance that heterosexuality is the default choice for humans has made it difficult for some to accept that "bisexual" does not refer primarily to heterosexuality. Because we are also attracted to men, this leads to the absurd conclusion that we are all heterosexual women who would do anything. A straight woman, but with an exciting hobby. Seeing bisexuality as something new reduces the effectiveness of bisexuality. It also means we're all the same.



We bisexual women are just as different from heterosexual women. Some of us are more sexually liberal, some are more conservative. When someone defaults to us being heterosexual, our attraction to men is seen as the main pattern of our sexual orientation, the protagonist. Our attraction to women is seen as a stylish side character with no real depth other than a mention of the main character. In fact, as the bi race, our sexuality has two main characters, both with intricate storylines and character development. We exist outside of cultural norms, and our sexuality doesn't pander to them, no matter what others say about straight women. Bi is not a cooler straight, it's completely independent.



One person I dated once said he felt threatened by my bisexuality. He said he felt he could compete with other men, but a woman could give me something he couldn't, and he was upset about not being able to "satisfy all my desires." No wonder we struggle to be taken seriously - it turns out that bisexuality requires both a man and a woman to be satisfied at the same time. Thanks for clarifying, man, you know better than I do. The idea that we need to interact with people of different genders at the same time to feel whole has turned bisexuality into a non-bisexuality. Some bi RACES have multiple lovers (polygyny) or one lover (monogamy). In any case, we don't need relationships with multiple genders to work. Once again, my ex's comments put my identity squarely in his hands, depriving me of my autonomy. To convince others that my sexuality is not a threat to their self-esteem, I hope I never do it again.

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